Poop Talk by Bff Jil

Yes. Poop. Poo. Crap. Dung. Cacka. Kids you drop in the pool. Texans you birth. Food babies. Bowel movements. Last but not least, the all encompassing, Shit. You read it all right…we are talking poop people.

I know what you all must be thinking. That I’m disgusting, that ‘ladies’ do NOT talk about this, that Lauren is all kinds of crazy for allowing me to guest post this topic. Ok, well you may be right. I’m a little disgusting at times, and yes my Grandmother would KILL me if she knew I was talking ‘shit’ to you all. As far as Lauren being crazy…Duh!

Guess what though, we ALL do it. No matter who you try to fool, we know that every person we pass on the street, see at work, talk to on the phone and sleep next to at night, all POOP. YOU POOP!

Here’s the thing though. Your poop is really telling you something about your health! So get familiar with your movements, or why there is a lack of…

I will spare you the dirty dets, and have removed a wealth of information...Like why your poop may be pellet looking, or why it’s hard and dry..or more importantly pencil thin! Basically go here and read up! Know your stool. Take me for example. I am in tune with my bowels. I’m sensitive like that. I know what food will result in what ‘off spring’. What restaurants require me to take an Imo-Ad prior to dining. (That’s Imodium Advanced; I never leave home without it)  What pizza joints I will pass on the pepperoni. Basically I know my system…Personally I don’t think it’s gross. I think it’s healthy. But that’s me…you can judge. I’m fine with that! Go HERE and read up! Know your stool.  

In closing…here are a few pointers and words to remember.

“An ideal stool looks like a torpedo—it should be large, soft, fluffy and easy to pass.”

Never flush with the toilet seat up…fecal matter is catapulted into the air at rapid speeds and lands on all surfaces. Seriously, Google it.

The urge to ‘go’ only comes around every 15 minutes. So if you miss your window, you’ve got 15 minutes to quit talking, shopping, driving and get to a toilet.